Peace is in me and not in the place…

2 09 2015

Away from the house— the morning blues, cooking, cribbing, complains, misunderstandings,  lessons plans, office, trains, phone calls, meals, dishes, fights, toxic people and loved once.de5243f3a65a3c9be8e0baaf134a24a6

I craved a retreat and here I am today 1203 miles away from everything that I was fed up with.

I had been longing for this, it had wild imaginations like being alone in woods, sitting by beach side all alone, staying in tree house. I needed PEACE and HAPPINESS.

I held the tickets in my hands, lip trembling, tears streaming. PEACE. How could I find it? I had to find it. That is why I have to be out, out here. What if I don’t manage finding it even after being away…? No definitely I will… These thoughts ran down just entering the International Airport.

Today is my 13th day here and yes realising the fact of life ‘Peace is in me and not in place’. I had to be done. I had to be done mentally with the wrong and end it. I had to not compromise it but finish its existence. I had to learn loving myself and start saying ‘No’. I had to become selfish only in terms of keeping my happiness as my priority. This land or that I had to learn living for myself and just let the toxic unwanted stuff, thoughts, worries and people go. I had to finish their existence in my life mentally first.

I had to learn, love and live being myself. Work toward my family goals and professional attainments. If I need and want something I had to get it as I work towards it. Say no, and get out of the situation, if you can! If you can’t, then do everything you can to love and care for yourself in the situation. Practice tons of self-love.

Now first is I have to forgive myself…once I am done with this I will be a t peace.

I forgive myself for anything I’ve felt, or that I might have done or said that wasn’t in my highest being or for my or their highest benefit. I forgive myself for temporarily letting the situation allow me to forget who I truly am. Forgiving ourselves is a necessary part of the forgiveness process. We free ourselves from being stuck in the conditions that created the situation when we release through forgiveness. I offer gratitude for what blessings, benefits and growth I’ve received. I find as many things I can be grateful for about the person or place as possible.

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