A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS NOT A COMPROMISE WITH SELF- RESPECT

13 06 2016

For all the young married or going to be married women , in laws and grooms (prospective grooms).

Sometime it just pains. I know it’s gone, Its no more but even the glimpse of those memories makes my heart bleed again. It pains and takes away my presence from me and pushes me back to that feeling where I feel chocked, broken. Why the hell, I just forgive?

I know it broke me. It broke each and every thing in me. My way of life, my positivity, my innocence, my dreams, feelings but it’s over. I fought it. I am done with it. I have left it behind. Most important it made me Iron strong. I fear nothing anymore, then why I can just delete it. It bothers and I can’t express what I go through even now.

I blame one thing for all this drama, we Indian girls have been trained with the mindset of taking any shit that life gives, whether we deserve it or not. We are conditioned to believe that it our sole responsibility to save marriage even if it meant compromising on self-respect. (After all they are parents of someone you got married to.)

I was asked to keep quiet by my husband for the sake of maintaining relationships. I tried keeping everybody happy at the cost of my own happiness. I was told that my biggest strength could be being submissive. But now I knows that it is not strength. It became my weakness.

Had it been on the day one I would have stood up for myself, the day I would have put my foot down and shown my level and where I belong, I would have not gone through whole of this rucks of life.

Easily said things, ‘You are strong’, ‘Never say why me’. But I still wonder ‘Why Me?’ I was absolutely straight forward, balanced with site of home and career, good natured, self-relying, and dependable and reasonably in a category of good looking. Then why me?

I wish to forgive but I can’t. You all are guilty in my eyes, I may never find respect for you. But I want to forgive because I want my peace of mind back. I want to finish this unending self-misery.

May be it will end with the answer to this ‘Why Me?’

But ya, would like thank god for giving me most loving and fiercely protective parents. Normally if anybody pointed a finger at me, my parents would have showed them their worth. My mom and my brother brought back my self-confidence which I had lost completely with constant mental harassment that I had gone through.

I have taken some drastically bold steps in life to change my situations. I have paid huge cost of it. Most of the girls lack this confidence. I have not quit my marriage which looked easy way out at times. But I have really fought my insecurities and fears.

So I have a request:

Husbands: If you are cowards, please join your hands and ask the girl to leave with all her dignity and respect by admitting that I can go around trees and sing like hero but I don’t have balls to stand for what is right. Or Have stands and support your girl if she is really right.

In Laws – No one was born to impress you. You have not invested a single minute or single penny in bringing us up. We can earn our breads. We have been nurtured with love by our parents. So respect us and understand we are fucking humans like your own child is. We wish to receive real love and give it back to you.

OR

Just admit we are useless and never wish to improve as you have come in our house, we are here to fuck you happiness to keep ourself secured and happy. Save yourself if you can. We are getting our son married because we need full time robotic maid and my son is growing older.

Parents – Please support your daughter. Don’t just leave her alone to fight. Be her strength or she will set a wrong example buy just surrendering her belief in fairytales and good deeds that you once told her.

Girls – Stand for what is right, come out of your comfort zone for it. If you have got parent like in-laws feel blessed and respect them. Adjust and but don’t compromise on your self-respect.

And I know, I am not only one with this kind of experience. Some say ‘How did you survive it?’, others may say they had worst. But why is my question.

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